


Hold On, Hold On

by abrodkin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, Eren and Levi's relationship is more platonic/based on trust, Ereri Secret Santa 2015, Gen, Levi experiences a Feel, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Slight ACWNR Spoilers, canonverse, non-graphic mentions of death and violence, said mentions are canon compliant, set during the uprising arc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 20:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5512817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrodkin/pseuds/abrodkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>They had experienced death together; something like that was bound to connect people in many ways, as if invisible bonds had been forged between them, and Levi knew there was absolutely nothing he wouldn't do today to save Eren, even if it disgusted him and left him with a crippling regret.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>He would never lose another friend again. He wouldn't allow himself to fail those he held close. And he would continue to rid the world of the things that prevented the happiness of those he cherished.</em>
</p>
<hr/>
<p>Eren and Historia have been captured and taken to a cave, deep underneath an abandoned chapel. And while it is up to Levi and his squad to save them, Levi can't help but feel frantic and nervous.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold On, Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> Ereri Secret Santa for [fails-and-falls](https://www.fails-and-falls.tumblr.com) on Tumblr [(vieirabar.)](https://www.archiveofourown.org/users/vieirabar) Both of your prompts gave me a lot of free reign, and I thank you for that. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Before they had entered the chapel, Levi had found his hands trembling around the grips of his blades. They felt heavy in his hands, and his gear felt like a dead weight around his waist; it was something that had only happened once before. Here, his heart stuttered every few seconds, like a rushing torrent in his ears, and it was only when Hanji put their hand on his shoulder that he whipped around with a venomous look on his face.

“What?!” he barked.

“Hold onto those things any tighter and you’ll bleed, you know,” Hanji replied, gesturing to his hands. He could feel the grips digging into his palms, and surely they would leave blisters in their wake once everything was over. His fingers were already adorned with callouses, knuckles decorated with faded, purple-red lines; if anything, the blisters would just be another accessory. “Levi,” Hanji said softly.

“Whatever it is, I really do not care. Really. All we need to do is get this over with and leave with—with _him_ —right?” The words felt like chalk in his mouth. Levi couldn’t even utter the name of the boy they were rescuing, even though he had spent months together with him—with Eren. He had trained Eren, and yet he had let him be kidnapped, had let people die for Eren’s sake, and Levi hadn’t felt this way in six years.

“He won’t die,” Hanji said. “You know that.”

“Yes, but what if he _does?_ What then, Hanji, huh? Another fucking person dead, for _no reason at all,_ and because of my stupid orders, my—”

“You need to calm down, Levi. Seriously. This is not like before, ok? He’ll be _fine,_ ” Hanji asserted. They tightened their grip on his shoulder. “You’re trained now. Eren’s been trained for years. He’s a _Titan._ And you of all people would know just how resilient those things can be. He’ll be fine. You need to worry about getting him out of there with as little scratches on him as possible. But don’t doubt that he can hold his own when you _know_ he’s strong. It shouldn’t take you years to trust him like it did for me and Erwin, because you’ve worked close with him for months, Levi, and I’ve seen how you treat him—much better than anyone else, because you know him the best out of nearly everyone but his sister and Armin, and—”

“ _I get it._ Ok? I get it completely. Gods, Hanji,” he said, pushing them away. He was silent, trying desperately to conceal his shaky breathing. He was confident in the plan—as much as Hanji annoyed him, he had to admit that the tactics they had devised were solid—but the looming mission still weighed heavily on his mind. At least one person would be dying by his hands today; it would most likely include the man that had raised him since he was a child, and while he knew that Kenny was no better than a dirty, grime-soaked rag, Levi couldn’t place him as just another faceless body. This, coupled with the prospect of Eren’s situation, and the plan they would have execute near-flawlessly in order to save both Eren and Historia, made Levi feel sick.

Still, he braced himself before the doorway leading down to the underground cave, with a tight, coiling sensation upsetting his stomach. So many, both on his side and the other, had died not even a week before; an even larger number would die today, he was sure of it, and killing had never been something he had enjoyed. Killing had mostly been for survival, first with the scum littering the underground, and then with the Titans that polluted the surface. He had seen the look on his team’s faces when he explained that they would have to kill, had seen the eerily calm expression that had fallen over Armin, the worried squints of Connie, the always-stoic face of Mikasa, Sasha’s sweating, and Jean’s paler-than-usual skin. He reinforced to them that the act of killing was essential to their survival in this world, and while he believed that fact to be true and killed with a cold face, truthfully, it wasn’t something that he could entirely stomach.

“Captain.” The sound was sudden, but not to the point that it startled him. He turned his head to see Mikasa, blades in hand and eyes unreadable, standing patiently. “Are we ready to go?”

“Check in with Sasha. Ask her if she’s ready to do her part. We’ll leave when she does,” he replied. Right. He had to be the authority figure in this situation.

“Yes, sir.”

She walked away, and Levi found himself watching her, looking over her as she spoke with Sasha to confirm the plan. It was simple, and if it went the way they hoped it would, the entirety of Kenny’s squad would be wiped out. In hindsight, Kenny’s squad had done nothing; all they truly wanted was a better world for humanity, even if most of them had joined the Military Police out of greed and cowardice. But they had chosen to follow Kenny, and that meant that their lives had to end. Armin and Hanji had devised a truly genius plan, but even though he recognized its brilliance, Levi couldn’t bring himself to feel enthusiastic about it.

He was tired. All he wanted to do was rescue Eren and Historia, and possibly take a shower (lasting longer than his usual ‘two minutes and go’ routine) to get rid of the filth caking beneath his fingernails before going to sleep. Maybe indulge in the tea from Sina he had been saving underneath his pillow, nestled beside the knife from the underground that he had kept sharpened for years. Anything to get his mind off of what had transpired over the past few weeks, and what was about to happen in mere minutes. It was a luxury he knew he wouldn’t be rewarded with, despite the numerous cricks in his back and aches in his muscles, but the mission had to be done before he could even claim to have peace of the mind.

He lowered himself into a crouch, hidden inside of the tall grass that lay still in front of the entrance to the chapel. The place was heavily unguarded—at least on the outside—and Levi couldn’t say he was surprised they had encountered little to no issues getting there a few hours prior. For what it was worth, the trip had been relatively smooth; knowing Kenny and his tactics, Levi was certain that the entrance of the cave hidden underneath would be filled to the brim with soldiers wielding their gun/manoeuvre gear hybrids. He knew they were at their weakest when their backs were turned; even a split second facing away from the enemy would ensure their death. The devices were brilliant, but nothing that Levi couldn’t handle; he had gone up against them in close quarters, and now it was up to his team to follow in the same way.

Silently, he continued to crouch in the grass, the palms of his hands sweaty from his ever-tightening grip on the handle of his blades. This was what he did—this is what he was _good_ at, killing, and he had been doing it since he was in single digits. But every time he had to kill a human, it gnawed away at him for an unprecedented amount of time. It was to the point where he couldn’t recall the faces of those he killed; each one was blurred, and today would add more to his arsenal of bodies collected. It was what he had to do.

Over the months, he had grown closer to Eren, particularly after the death of their squad to the hands of the Female Titan. He knew the story of how human traffickers had kidnapped Mikasa when they were younger, and how Eren, at the age of nine, had killed two men in order to save her, despite not knowing her very well, if at all, at the time. And Levi had spoken to Mikasa about the incident before, after realizing their relation and questioning if she had ever experienced an insane surge of power. He knew her outlook on life, as it was one that had been reinforced by nature and Eren when she was young: that only the strong survived, and if one didn’t fight, they wouldn’t win. Levi shared this outlook; he believed he was strong enough to successfully save Eren from his probable death, and he believed he was strong enough to kill Kenny, along with anyone else that got in the way of Eren—and Historia’s—safety. He knew his objective, and it was only made worse by the fact that he considered Eren to be a close comrade. They had experienced death together; something like that was bound to connect people in many ways, as if invisible bonds had been forged between them, and Levi knew there was absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do today to save Eren, even if it disgusted him and left him with a crippling regret.

He would never lose a friend again. He wouldn’t allow himself to fail those he held close. And he would continue to rid the world of the things that prevented the happiness of those he cherished.

The sun was starting to set on the horizon, painting the sky a vibrant orange streaked with inky blues and purples. The assault would be starting soon. He braced himself, feet firmly on the ground, and focused his mind. It was not the time to doubt himself or show any sort of emotion. He was to become cold, hard steel, like the metal of his blades, and he forced any lingering thoughts from his head.

There was a rustle in the grass beside him. “Captain Levi,” a voice said in a soft whisper.

“Yes, Armin?”

“We’re ready to start, sir,” Armin replied. His eyebrows were drawn together; most likely he was drafting whatever alternate steps would need to be taken in the event of a discrepancy. “Everyone is in position.”

“And Sasha?”

“She’s ready whenever you are.”

“Good.” Slowly, Levi stood up, dusting his pants of any dirt. “Get into position. I’ll open the door once I’m settled. Our main priority is escaping with Eren and Historia in one piece—that’s all. Make sure everyone has that drilled into their minds before the mission starts. Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Armin confirmed. He glanced to the side for a moment. “Squad Leader Hanji and I are at the back. We’ll scope out the cavern and give you any details the moment we get the chance.”

“I’m trusting you that the plan will work,” Levi said.

“It will. I know you’re concerned, Captain, but it’ll work out. Trust me, there is no one else who wants them back more than our team.” With that, Armin gave Levi a short nod and headed to his position, hidden in the longer strands of grass with Hanji.

Cautiously, Levi followed him, and stopped in front of the entrance to the chapel. Well, this was it. They had hypothesized that the actual chapel itself wouldn’t be where Eren and Historia were being kept; it would be too obvious, so their first step was to find the actual hiding place. He pressed two fingers to the chapel door and pushed silently so that a tiny sliver of a view appeared. He could practically feel his squad behind him waiting with bated breath; upon checking, he glanced back at them and tilted his chin upwards. The door opened further, and they rustled in quietly, trying to silence their footfalls. Out of the corner of his eye, Levi could see the two soldiers from the Military Police they had taken as allies get into position outside of the chapel, rifles in hand, and took that as a cue to follow his squad into the depths of the room.

Hanji was immediately on the floor, looking underneath the worn and splintered pews for some sort of opening. They had doubted that the entrance to the cave would be expertly hidden; especially in the haste to bring Eren and Historia there, the area where the entrance was hidden would most likely have been disrupted in some sort of way. After a quick glance around the room, Levi spotted a dusty, moth-eaten rug lying on the ground in front of the equally worn pulpit. He tapped Hanji on the shoulder and gestured towards it. They stood up and walked towards it, an inquisitive look on their face.

With a quick swipe of the hand, a thick vein of metal appeared underneath the rug. Hanji got down on their knee and moved the rug further, revealing a hatch. “There it is… A hidden entrance,” they said, leaning in further to observe it. “Eren and the enemy should be beyond this. Hopefully the layout is how I had anticipated…”

“I hope taking that roundabout path and bringing these souvenirs along with us wasn’t in vain,” Levi added. It had been a pain to take further steps than necessary, dragging along drums of oil with them in order to use as a distraction. Hanji didn’t answer; they continued to watch the entrance, no doubt taken notes in their mind and calculating every possible scenario that lay behind it. 

“All right.” There was a clunk; Armin had dragged over a barrel of oil. He finished tying a secure knot and looked over towards the entrance. “The preparations are complete!” 

“I see…” Levi turned his head towards his squad, who were stationed in the corners of the room. Connie and Mikasa had their blades drawn, while Jean carried a rifle of his own, and Sasha carried her bow. Mikasa was stationed at the doorway, a stoic look on her face. “Well then…” Levi continued. “I said it before, and I’ll say it again: are you guys prepared to get your hands dirty as well?”

Despite their young ages, Levi could see that his squad was serious down to their bones. While killing wasn’t something they ever wanted to do—he could tell by the conflicted looks on Jean, Sasha, and Connie’s faces—it seemed as though they were prepared to defend and rescue their comrades, no matter the price. For Mikasa, who had killed men before, and for Armin, who had witnessed the massacre of his city and had shot someone for his friend’s sake mere days before, killing was nothing new, and it reflected on their faces. Mikasa gave a tiny nod, her mouth set in a grim line.

“Looking good.” With that, Levi yanked the rug away from the entrance. With a few strong tugs on the hatch, the entrance opened, creaking with age. The hinges hadn’t been treated in years. They had rusted over time, and the scraping noise they made was grating.

Underneath the entrance was a stone staircase. The walls had been lined with torches, and at the bottom, Levi could see another wooden doorway at the end of a lengthy hallway. It was most likely the entrance to the cavern. He swallowed, and then mustered up his strength as he stood. With a gesture of his hand, he started to make his way down the staircase, but paused just a few steps down. “Someone prop open the entrance so that we don’t get stuck,” he muttered. He heard someone pulling an object towards the entrance, and once it had been propped up, he continued down the staircase. Despite the torches, the air was still dark. And even though people had already been down the staircase mere hours before, the air still felt damp and musty, and a thick layer of dust coated the steps.

After a short descent, they gathered at the beginning of the hallway. Beyond them, a short distance away, was the door; after that, they would find Eren, and the bastards who had taken him and Historia. With a deep breath, Levi walked forward a few feet until he was a short distance away from the door. He turned back towards his squad and observed them for a moment. The team had all strapped the barrels of oil to their backs, and were now lowering them to the floor. Armin held a single torch, along with a small vial of oil to help it ignite, and instead of a barrel, he held a box of signal flares on his back. Each member had a flare gun strapped to their harnesses, and their gear lay flat against their thighs, ready to be deployed. Sasha was crouched in a corner with her bow, and Mikasa made her way towards the front of the group, where she squatted down next to Levi in anticipation.

“Remember that there is absolutely no time for distractions,” Levi addressed the group. “We need to get in there, rescue Eren and Historia, and leave as soon as possible. Do _not_ fuck around. Are we clear?”

The team nodded. Hanji, who crouched against the wall, tilted their chin upwards as a go-ahead.

Levi approached the doorway. It looked weak, as though time had worn down the bonds in the wood. He glanced behind him one last time; Connie and Jean had their hands on the barrels, and Mikasa stood crouched just a ways behind him. Armin had lifted his torch to the ones on the wall, and silently lit Sasha’s arrow. She in turn crouched down and steadied herself. With a deep, slightly shaky breath, Levi kicked open the doorway.

There was no noise. As he walked backward, he observed what little of the room he could see. In front of him was another staircase, though much longer than the one they had just gone down. The walls of the cavern glittered and shone with a bright light; it was the same sort of material that Annie had encased herself in after shifting. He was caught up in the inherent beauty of it, but was quickly snapped out of his reverie as Jean and Connie pushed the barrels past his heels and down into the cave below.

Mikasa crawled forward to crouch next to him. “Let’s go,” he whispered, and she nodded in response. There was no commotion from the cave as he sprung up and started to race down the hallway, Mikasa hot on his heels. “NOW!” he yelled behind him, and his squad jostled to their feet.

He burst through the doorway and immediately looked out into the cave. There was no one; all he could see was the crystal walls and the barrels Jean and Connie had launched just seconds before. Still, he ran down the length of the staircase, Mikasa trailing behind him, and saw a flash of orange in the corner of his eye.

The moment he saw the enemy crouched on their perches, the barrels exploded, and the room went up into flames.

 

* * *

 

Hurry. He had to hurry.

Minutes into the assault, a blinding light had filled the entirety of the cavern; with it came the feeling of an incredible surge of energy. He could tell by the look on everyone’s faces that they thought Eren had transformed, but why hadn’t they heard Eren’s roar? Why hadn’t they heard the deafening blows of fighting, the unnatural and bloodcurdling screams that came from Eren’s mouth? And as they wiped out the last of the enemies, getting closer to their intended destination, why had everything gone back to silence, save for the whirs of their gear and their laboured breathing?

If they hadn’t heard Eren’s roar, it meant that he was safe. And if he was safe, if even just for a few minutes, it meant that he could be saved.

“HURRY! GET TO THE BACK OF THE CAVE!” Levi screamed. Hanji had fallen, but Armin was attending to them; the rest of his squad followed in his wake. He could see the blood on their hands, and felt it drying and becoming sticky on his own fingers. The air smelled metallic, and there were nearly thirty-five corpses littering the floor, but he wouldn’t let himself focus on it.

_Eren. Get to Eren._

The air rushed past his ears and whistled like sharp bursts of wind, and his hair was plastered to his forehead due to the sweat that had gathered there, but it held no importance. Their time would be up soon; if they failed this mission, Levi would never be able to forgive himself. 

He could barely focus on his surroundings; no one dared to vie close to him. From an outside perspective, he looked like a man possessed. His eyes were hard, focused on a singular goal, and he flew through the cavern at an incredible speed. As he sped closer, he could feel the blistering heat, how the intensity of it felt like a burning wind, and the grips of his blades became hot in his hands. The energy generated by the heat threatened to push him back; with it came a surge of deafening, white noise, but his own world was silent. The only thing he could hear was the maddening _thump_ of his heart, his pulse racing, and the heaviness of his own laboured breathing. With the heat came overwhelming humidity; his shirt was soaked through to the armpits, and beads of sweat rolled down his body. 

“ _There!_ ”

Mikasa’s voice was louder than he had ever heard it before. Following the tilt of her body, he could see an approaching platform, flanked by two chains pulled taught by something he couldn’t see. Crystal beams, the same as the pillars in the previous section, supported this new area of the cavern; one of the beams had broken, and he watched it fall to the ground and shatter. He drew closer, the near-boiling heat whooshing past his ears, and could place two figures at the top of the platform, being blown back by the blistering energy emitted by a gigantic skeleton, held up by an absurdly curved spine. _Titan._

If there were a God, Levi would certainly be praying to it.

The skin of his knuckles threatened to split as he approached the platform. As he flew closer, the features of the two figures became more apparent; there was a shirtless man with tanned skin, and behind him stood a pale girl with a petite frame, wearing a tattered dress, and hitting the man in front of her on the head. It seemed as if she was yelling, and both of them had blood on their bodies. Even closer, and Levi could identify the two.

Historia. _Eren._

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a body grappling onto the top of the broken pillar, swinging wildly in what he presumed was an attempt to escape, but he pushed it out of his mind and focused back on the platform. He could see now that Historia was struggling to shove a key into a lock around Eren’s ankles; the chains he had noticed before were tied tight to Eren’s wrists, and if Levi squinted, he could see the chafing red marks the shackles had left. What made his already struggling breath catch in his throat was the sight of Eren’s face: Eren’s forehead had been slashed open, and blood poured from the wound and over into Eren’s eyes, still vibrant despite the endless tears that rolled down his face.

As Levi rushed closer towards the platform, the heat intensified; he could feel it rolling past him in waves, the energy pushing him back. He sped to the platform desperately, making the final stretch in time to see Historia being blown backwards by the energy.

“Someone help her!” he yelled, and watched as Mikasa zipped past to cushion Historia’s head before it bashed against the crystal wall.

Around them, the cave was crumbling, and Levi could feel his heart drum a heavy beat as he landed behind Eren on the platform. Up close, he could see the strain Eren had gone through; his hair was matted with blood, and the blood had dried on his face, flaking off with every movement. There were tear tracks that Levi could see through the mess on Eren’s face, and even with Eren’s accelerated healing powers, the shackles around his wrists had rubbed them raw; in some places they were bleeding. He looked terrible.

Levi pushed the thought to the back of his mind, even though his throat was tight. This was not the time to worry about appearances; Eren had obviously been through hell, but he could bear to look bad for a few moments longer until he was safe. With a grunt, Levi inched forward on the platform towards Eren, his fingers trembling under the pressure of the heat.

“Captain! Everyone!” Eren’s voice was scratchy, as if he hadn’t had a drink of water in days. There was an obvious strain to his words, and each syllable shook from exhaustion.

There was a sound of whirring metal, and Sasha, Jean, and Connie approached the platform. Levi got onto one knee and reached a struggling hand out towards Mikasa. “Hand me the keys,” he demanded, and she gave them to him with a pleading look in her eyes. This was her brother; he had to be saved.

Levi latched himself around Eren’s upper arm and held him still, a hand coming up to grasp onto Eren’s own as Connie grabbed the ring of keys and fumbled with them. Both of Eren’s hands were cocooned in bandages; with the dressing so thick, there would be no way for him to bite into the meat of his thumb and transform.

“Shit, which key is it?!”

“ _Hurry,_ Connie,” Levi barked. He grasped onto Eren tighter at the first sign of struggle.

Levi could feel the tremor through Eren’s body as Jean grabbed Eren’s other arm. “Listen up, you half-naked bastard!” Jean said. In any other situation, the phrase would have made Levi laugh. “It’s not just the Titans… Gun-toting enemies are coming this way as well!”

Above him, Levi could hear an intense noise of crumbling; he looked up at the ceiling of the cavern and blanched. “No… even before that,” he said, his face stony. “The ceiling is caving in.”

With his words came a downpour of jagged shards of crystal. Some looked like glittering boulders and they fell and shattered, narrowly missing their group by mere feet. There was nothing Levi could do but stare as Eren went limp in his arms.

“HURRY!” Jean yelled. Fumbling, Connie released the lock on a shackle around Eren’s ankle, and then shoved the key ring in Jean’s direction. Soon, the shackles around Eren’s wrists were unlocked.

Suddenly, a harsh, grating rumble filled Levi’s ears. It sounded as though the world itself was falling to pieces. “ _Captain!_ ” Connie screamed, and Levi looked up just in time.

“OUT OF THE WAY!” He grasped Eren’s forearm and harshly pulled him backwards. A giant chunk of the ceiling fell down inches from Eren’s toes, landing in the exact same spot he had been in only seconds earlier. Any closer, and Eren would have been crushed.

Levi was forced to let go of Eren’s arm in order to shepherd his team hurriedly down the flight of stairs that led to the cavern floor. A noise like wrenching metal echoed through the cave, followed by an even more intense surge of pressure and energy; it forced Levi to pause in his step and look up, shielding his eyes from the light. “What’s with this shitty mess,” he mumbled, seemingly only to himself. “Even bigger than the Colossal Titan…”

But there was no time to dwell on it. Rod Reiss had turned into a monster, but there was nothing they could have done to prevent it from happening. Even standing in awe of the hulking frame of Rod Reiss’s Titan, Levi could see a lithe figure shoot towards the front of the cave, its hands gripping guns, and a lone hat falling to the floor. He had only barely registered the figure before a thundering _crack_ sounded through the cave.

The Titan had grow larger, absurdly so, to the point where it had hit the ceiling, instantly shattering the already-crumbling crystal. The light the Titan emitted was blinding; its frame was fat, and it broke down each pillar that it touched, causing the cave to collapse at a frighteningly rapid pace.

“Shit! There’s no way out!” Jean cowered against the wall, hand shaking; the rest of the team followed. Levi backed up to stand flush against the crystal. A glance to his right saw Eren with eyes wide, teeming with tears, and confusion etched across his face.

Not one child should have to make a choice such as this.

He looked back at the wreckage around him, but knew that the rest of his team was staring at Eren, waiting for the boy to make his choice. Turning into a Titan would cause the ground to collapse, which in turn would cause everyone to be crushed; despite that, turning into a Titan would be the only way to broaden their chances of escaping, even with the risk.

The world around Levi was terrifyingly silent; the only sound that broke through was a single, strangled sob.

Eren had tilted his head backward, his face etched with pained agony; he held his bottom lip between his teeth. “Sorry, everyone,” he said, his voice wrought with remorse. “I was useless, from the very beginning… I wasn’t anything like the hope of mankind.” He tilted his head forward, and fresh tears rolled down from his eyes; it took all of Levi strength not to interrupt him as he spoke. Instead of speaking up, he let Eren cry, his own hands trembling against the wall.

He saw the bottle the same time Eren did.

“…Armour?”

The bottle was made of dark glass, and sealed shut with a cork and twisted metal ties. Eren reached out a hand towards it, but was stopped in his tracks. “What? Trying to be the hero of tragedy?” Jean scoffed, his eyes narrowed. “Have you ever really handled something with your own power?”

“Weakling…” Connie added, his voice low and angered. “This isn’t the first time now, is it?” he said pityingly.

“ _We’re still not used to this, though!_ ” Sasha cut in. She sounded nervous; her words were unconfident.

Levi surveyed the room. The floor was littered with rubble, and the Titan seemed to grow larger and more menacing with every passing moment. It would soon grow to the point where it would cause the entire cavern to collapse into itself, trapping all those unfortunate to not have escaped. The air was sweltering, hotter than Levi had ever felt before. He could tell that Eren and Historia would have to be carried in the state they were in. He sighed. “It’d be tough getting out of here even without carrying Eren and Historia,” he said. “That Titan’s heat… We’ll burn to death if we get any closer.”

“ _Even then, we have to take a chance and run!_ ” Sasha yelled. Her eyes had welled up with tears, and as she spoke, they spilled over onto her cheeks.

Eren shook his head. “No… There’s no way out anymore.”

It was hopeless. Levi had never heard Eren sound so bleak.

It churned an emotion inside him that he thought he would never experience.

“Are we just going to wait here and be crushed or burn to death, then?” Historia hadn’t spoken at all throughout their entire exchange; now her words were blunt, and she looked at Eren with cold, tired eyes. “Just because we’re enemies of mankind?”

There was a quiet, a sort of soft hush that swept over the cavern. With the light being emitted by the Titan, Eren looked tired and vulnerable. Levi felt that way himself. “I’m sorry that it is you every time,” he found himself saying. He crinkled his brow and looked once more at the scene surrounding him. “Eren,” he said softly, and looked to meet Eren’s eyes. “Do as you choose.”

It caused something in his heart to break, watching as Eren’s face crumpled. No doubt he was thinking of how the Female Titan had killed his former squad, four meaningless deaths that he couldn’t prevent. And then something in Eren’s face changed.

Levi watched as Eren gulped and wiped a hand over his eyes, smearing the blood on his face. He stood up on weak knees, and ran to grasp the bottle with a strangled yell. At the edge of the platform, Levi could see shards of glass fall from around the area of Eren’s mouth. He braced himself against the wall.

With a deafening _crack_ and a flash of lightning, Eren transformed.

 

* * *

 

Time had passed slowly. Chipping away at hardened crystal was a menial task, but it was incredibly slow, and after a while it would cause hands to cramp. This was the reason why Levi sat on the floor of the cavern with Historia while Jean and Mikasa slowly gauged at the nape of the crystal Titan’s neck. Levi had been the one doing most of the work for the first hour or so; he hadn’t wanted to stop, as he felt as though he was close to uncovering Eren’s form, but his hands screamed at him after a long night of battle. So he rested with Historia, whose eyes looked as if they were sinking into her skull, sent Connie and Sasha to find an exit, and waited. Hanji had just regained consciousness a short while before, and was being tended to by Armin while listening to the story of what had happened. 

Levi hadn’t been able to see Eren at all for what felt like hours, despite it only being seconds, during and right after the transformation. All he had been aware of was the heavy drumming of his heart, how his throat was tight, and how the room had gone from blistering to cool while the crystal shook beneath his feet. At the time, the walls had felt like they were spinning, and newly erected columns had appeared from nowhere; later he would realize that it was Eren’s Titan that had connected the cave in a web-like fashion, with columns going all which ways and connecting to the Titan’s arms and kneeled legs. Rod Reiss’s Titan had escaped by then, and in its wake left Eren, whose form had crystallized and filled the cave with solid pillars, effectively saving everyone from their imminent deaths. Eren’s form was frozen, its colour a pale blue, with arms outstretched and merging to become one with the crumbling walls.

“Eren… _Eren!_ ”

There was a sound of a large chunk of crystal cracking and then falling to the ground, forcing Levi to tilt his head upwards. He could feel his eyes burning as he watched Mikasa and Jean pull a fatigued, pale Eren from his Titan. Levi hadn’t cried since he was in single digits after watching his mother starve; now he was in a position of authority, and willed his tears away as he stood up to run to Eren’s aid.

Eren had been slowly lowered to the ground, and was sitting on his knees when Sasha descended from a hole in the ceiling. “Captain! We did it! We’ve secured an exit!” she exclaimed, her face lighting up once she saw Eren’s intact form.

“Good job!” Levi said back. His voice echoed through the cave; after the silence they had endured for the past while (bar the chinking away of the crystal,) the sound was jarring, but not to the point that it startled him. He ran up the stairs, each footfall heavy against the crystal, and stopped just shy of Mikasa. He met her stare out of the corner of his eye, and gave her a tiny nod, which she returned. The relief was evident on her face; he felt the same way.

Sasha was on her hands and knees before Eren, her voice wavering. “…I thought _this was it, it’s over, it’s over, no way this guy can save us…_ ” she said, and paused to sniff loudly. “I was really dropping the tears and snot everywhere—”

“This is…” Eren was quiet, his eyes wide as he looked around the cave. Leftover marks from being encased in his Titan still shined red underneath his eyes, and his shoulders slumped heavily once he caught sight of his crystallized form.

“A hardened Titan, right?” Levi answered him softly. “Even after cutting you away from the Titan… It hasn’t disappeared. That’s something, isn’t it?” The question was rhetorical.

Eren’s face grew more and more confused as he surveyed the cavern, taking in every square inch of his hardened form. Suddenly, his eyes bugged out as he caught site of the floor. “Ah! What about the bottle?! That’s right…” His eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the broken glass lying before him. “I decided to swallow that ‘Armour’ bottle and turn into a Titan, and…” His voice wavered as Historia appeared at the top of the stairs, a piece of singed black fabric clutched between her hands.

“We found Rod Reiss’s bag, but…” The bag was slowly disintegrating into ash, crumbling slightly each time Historia would move.

“Ah…”

“Everything that was in the bag, including the other bottles that flew out, was either crushed or burned. Nothing is left,” Historia explained, casting her eyes downward. Even she, who had gone through her own version of hell, looked tired, broken down and stare hollow.

“But that—”

“No, there might be more elsewhere,” Levi pondered. He squatted down next to Eren, legs trembling from the exertion, and stared at the face of the crystallized Titan. “You, upon taking the contents of this bottle, used the power of ‘hardening’ that you couldn’t achieve no matter what until now, to close up the ceiling. You prevented it from caving in, and saved us from the heat and falling rocks.” He paused, and a small sigh escaped from his mouth. “I don’t think you ever went through such training, but you put up a structure like that in the blink of an eye. It was fascinating. And it’s totally absurd, but… Those walls were really built like that too, right?” He met Eren’s eyes again, and the boy nodded, a frown tugging at his lips. Levi placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. “In other words, with this, it has become possible to seal the hole in Wall Maria.”

A flood of emotions crossed Eren’s face; Levi couldn’t even begin to recognize all of them. Instead, he removed his hand from Eren’s shoulder and adjusted his position as his squad gathered around him to listen. “Many friends and foes alike have died, and it took quite some time, but… Even in our wretched state, we have finally gotten to this point. 

Eren was silent; his expression matched the grim looks upon his team’s faces. Levi cast his eyes downward; he dug his nails into the meat of his thigh in order to hold himself back from Eren, blinking to keep his own emotions at bay.

They had lived their entire lives within the walls; Levi had only gotten to see outside of them a few times before Maria had been taken over, but for his team, it had never been the case. With Eren’s power, there was a possibility of reclaiming the land that was once theirs; with Eren’s power, they would be able to finally explore what had been left in ruins. It was a giant leap for the progression of humanity, and Levi felt his heart ache with pride for Eren; his subordinate—his _friend_ , the one he had beaten to a pulp once upon a time, the one he had trained and experienced death with, was the key to restoring a tiny semblance of peace and justice.

“By the way… That Titan is…”

“Ah—”

“ _Captain!_ ” Levi looked upwards to see Connie shouting and waving his free arm. “It’s terrible! _Please come here!_ ”

“That’s right… First we have to get out of here.” Levi nodded to his squad; they all started their ascent up the walls, hooks from their gear grappling into crystal in order to pull them upwards. Mikasa made a move to help Eren, but Levi shot her a sharp look; she understood and instead went to help Armin with Hanji.

Eren pushed himself upward with shaking arms, but he was still too weak to stand without some assistance. Levi started to stand, mimicking Eren’s moves with ease. “Putting that aside,” he said, brushing off his pants. He leaned over and held out a hand to Eren. “You look like shit,” he stated bluntly.

Eren blinked a few times, arms slack at his sides before he offered Levi a tiny smile and took his hand in his own.

They eventually made their way out of the lip of the cave; Levi pushed himself upwards and onto the grass, while Eren took out Armin’s offered hand in order to surface. The night air was crisp, and Levi let himself rest to take some calming breaths while Armin explained their situation. In the distance, they could see the deformed shape of Rod Reiss; the Titan’s spine jutted out, and it inched its way through the field on all fours. The Titan was larger, much larger than it had seemed inside of the cave; around it, trees burst into flame, and smoke filled the air.

“—Most importantly, it shows no interest in the people nearby… Us, that is.” Armin’s voice cut into Levi’s field of hearing; he focused his attention towards the group.

“A deviant, then?” Jean said. He glared at the Titan with disgust.

“If it’s not under the control of a former human’s will, that is,” Armin answered. His crinkled his brow in confusion, looking out towards the burning trees. “What happened?”

In his peripheral vision, Levi could see Historia as she stared out at what had once been her father. There was a sort of regretful aura surrounding her; her eyes were hard, and her mouth was set in a grim line, fingers clenched in the grass around her. No doubt that her head was filled with confliction.

“We’re going after that Titan,” he said, breaking into the conversation. “The central M.P. might be lurking somewhere nearby, so stay on guard.”

Hanji, who had been resting, lifted themselves up on their elbows. “We’ll wait for Marlowe and Hitch first, Levi. Wait a second. They have the horses.”

“You can hold _your_ fucking horses,” he muttered in reply, causing Hanji to smirk.

The group silently dispersed. Armin, Eren, and Mikasa stayed huddled together, and Connie, Sasha, and Jean wandered further to observe their surroundings. Historia sat alone, making a ring around her knees with her arms as she continued to stare at the retreating Titan. Levi walked slowly in Hanji’s direction; he settled down beside them, and stayed in a mutually agreed silence.

It was not long after that Marlowe and Hitch arrived with the horses and a cart, along with a few buckets of water as well as some extra clothing that had been brought along as a precaution. While the horses were settled, Levi took one of the buckets, along with two shirts, and made his way around to the front of the cart where the rest of the group had gathered.

Eren was standing slightly off to the edge, silent, and jumped slightly when he felt a tap on his shoulder. “Come with me,” Levi said, gesturing his chin towards an empty area near the cart. Eren nodded and followed.

“Captain…”

“Don’t talk. Sit.” Levi waited until Eren had settled down cross-legged before he sat down himself, placing the bucket and one shirt beside him. He gave the other shirt to Eren, who gratefully accepted it and pulled it over his head. “You still have some shit on your face,” Levi said quietly.

“…Sir—”

“You still are stubborn, aren’t you,” Levi cut him off, sighing deeply. “I said don’t talk. Sit. You need to rest.”

Instead of replying, Eren gulped, and then nodded hesitantly. Taking that as an answer, Levi reached over and dunked the remaining shirt into the bucket, letting it soak for a few moments before removing it and wringing out the excess water. Silently, he leaned forward towards Eren and brushed the boy’s hair from his forehead; Eren usually ran hotter than the average person, but his forehead was burning. Levi let his palm rest there for a moment as he gripped the soaked shirt tightly in his fist, staring down in order to conceal the moisture that had gathered in his eyes. “Don’t ever do that again,” he said shakily.

“I won’t.”

“That’s an _order,_ Eren.” Levi grit his jaw as he looked back up; he removed his hand from Eren’s forehead and moved it down towards Eren’s arm, gripping it between his fingers. “Promise.”

“…I promise.”

Levi’s grip didn’t waver as he nodded. He focused his watery gaze towards Eren’s face; the blood from before had mostly flaked off, but there were still dried and sticky patches of it that had stayed, along with the marks from the transformation that hadn’t faded. Levi swiped the back of his hand over his eyes and swallowed harshly before he pushed Eren’s hair back again. Gently, he started to glide the fabric over Eren’s face, cleaning off the blood and dirt to reveal the smooth and unblemished skin underneath.

Eren had focused his own gaze towards the ground. His hands clenched in his lap, and he took a deep breath inwards before speaking. “Captain, are… Are you ok?”

Levi let out a huff of amusement. “I wasn’t the one who was trapped in a cave. I should be asking _you_ that question.”

“No, but you just… You looked upset, almost.” Eren paused, shifting his position and then looking upwards. “And I know it isn’t my place as your subordinate to ask, Captain, but—”

“Eren,” Levi cut him off. He lowered the shirt from Eren’s face and let his shoulders slump slightly as he sighed. “I’ve lost people before. We both have, and we both know what it’s like to lose family. Trust me. You… You might be thought of as a tool by the military, but you’re still important, Eren, and as hesitant I am to say it, I don’t want to lose you, either.”

“I—” This time, Eren cut himself off, clamping his mouth shut almost comically as he crinkled his brow in disbelief. He clenched his fists in his lap and then nodded gently. “Thank you,” he muttered, the words slightly muffled.

“It’s my responsibility to look after you,” Levi said. “And I’m not just doing this because it’s my job.” He tilted his head to the side and submerged the shirt in the bucket again, letting the dirt dissolve in the water before he brought it back up to Eren’s cheek. “Gods, you’re fucking filthy.”

“I—I wouldn’t want to lose you either, Cap—Levi.”

Levi didn’t speak in response; instead, he continued to wipe the shirt across Eren’s face, trying to get each and every tiny speck of dirt and blood off. Eren had clamped his mouth shut, and evenly breathed in and out, his eyes cast downwards to the ground. He shifted occasionally, uncrossing his legs and then crossing them again, reaching for itches to scratch, all as Levi continued to clean his face.

After a few minutes of quiet, Levi swiped the cloth across Eren’s forehead one last time before lowering it. He stared at Eren for a moment, and then scowled to himself. “I didn’t bring something to dry you off,” he grumbled, looking at the shirt in his hand.

“It’s fine. It’ll dry.”

“No, Eren—just—here.” Levi brought the sleeve of his own shirt over his hand and pulled it taut. He brought it towards Eren’s face and started to dab away the water.

“Captain, you don’t have to—”

“I don’t know how they fucking treated you these past few days, but I don’t want to be the one responsible for you getting sick just because you didn’t dry yourself off. It’s fine. Worry about yourself.” Even though the words were said in a harsh tone, they were words of concern; Levi sighed deeply as he removed his hand from Eren’s face and then rolled up his sleeves to his elbows. “We should go. I’m sure Hanji and Armin have thought of some sort of plan by now.”

“…Yes.”

Levi pushed himself off the ground and then extended a hand towards Eren, who gripped it firmly. He helped Eren to stand, and then dusted off the seat of his pants before he started to walk towards the cart, Eren following diligently behind him.

“If… If you don’t mind me asking this…” Eren started, his speech hesitant and slow. “You said you knew what it was like to lose family.”

“I do. I lost my mother when I was very young, younger than you were when you lost yours. That,” Levi said, “along with the family that followed me into the Survey Corps. They were more or less my equivalent of what you and your friends are.”

“What happened to them?”

“What happens to most people who decide to join the Corps?” Levi answered with a question of his own. He looked back to Eren as he continued to walk. “It’s just an awful reality we have to face. No one in the future should have to lose their family prematurely. And that’s one of the main reasons why we fight.”

Eren stayed quiet for the rest of the walk; Levi could only suspect he was mulling over what had just happened. But the silence wasn’t awkward as it had been in the past; it was more of a comfortable quiet, unlike the tension-filled silence that had turned into a norm after their squad had been killed. Something had changed.

When they arrived back at the carts, Eren put a hand on Levi’s shoulder to stop him from going any further. “Captain,” he said.

“Yes?”

“Just… Thank you, again. It really, um… It means a lot to me. Everything. It really does.”

Now it was Eren who looked on the verge of tears, despite having cried buckets earlier. The redness of his eyes accentuated the colour of his irises, and they shined brightly even in the darkness. The look on Eren’s face rendered Levi speechless for a moment; the sight seemed so familiar to him, and it was melancholy, the memories that popped up.

He gave Eren a small, sad smile in response. “You’re a good kid, Eren,” he said. Eren let go of his shoulder. “Go in the cart. You must be exhausted.”

“You’re very perceptive today.”

“Not really. I just usually don’t speak this much.”

“It’s been nice,” Eren muttered. “I don’t think you’re a bad person, Captain. You’re a lot nicer than I was led to believe. So… Thank you.” With that, he hoisted himself up into the cart to sit next to Historia.

Sighing, Levi turned away from the cart and made his way over to the horses. Hanji was lying down just to the side; they would need help getting into the cart, and Levi would most likely be the one tasked with helping them. He didn’t mind.

So he stood next to them with his arms crossed, staring out at the cart to observe Eren further. The boy had seemed to recover slightly; colour had come back into his cheeks, and while he looked sick, it wasn’t nearly as much as he had looked earlier. It was a relief to Levi; he could finally feel one burden of the situation lift from his shoulders.

“What’s got you looking like that?” Hanji asked from the ground.

“Like what?”

“Like you’re gonna cry.”

“Shut up,” Levi grumbled. “You’re delusional.”

“I’m injured, not incompetent. We’ve known each other for a while. You’ve only looked like this once for the entire time I’ve known you, and I think you know when that was.”

“Enlighten me.”

“He reminds you of Isabel,” Hanji said softly.

It wasn’t something Levi could deny. “And?”

“You have a soft spot for him. You _care_ about him. Don’t try to convince me otherwise.”

“And if I do?”

Hanji clicked their tongue and shook their head. “It isn’t good. It’ll cause you trouble in the long run. But I can see why you do. He has a good heart, that one.”

“He does.”

Indeed, the sparkle in Eren’s eyes and the fierceness of his personality reminded Levi of Isabel, the one he had lost all those years ago. And if Eren were anything like her, Levi would want to protect him with every fibre of his being. He had a good soul; he was a good person, one that Levi happened to care for more than others.

He was just glad that they were now safe and sound, at least for a short while.

**Author's Note:**

> main tumblr: [daddylazward](http://www.daddylazward.tumblr.com)
> 
> writing tumblr: [i-am-an-evil-witch](http://www.i-am-an-evil-witch.tumblr.com)


End file.
